Lowering the Bar – False Praise

I certainly believe in positive reinforcement and praise for
great effort and outcomes. I also understand how important self-esteem and self-image
is in teaching and coaching, but we have gone overboard with praise for mediocrity
in order to build self-esteem. In every situation there are minimum
expectations and standards that must be met to be part of the team. I emphasize
minimum standards. Meeting those minimum standards does not warrant praise,
those are expectations that everyone must meet. The same is true of effort;
everyone is expected to go all out, plain and simple, no exceptions. So to
praise someone for going all out is hollow and meaningless. The touchy feely
feel good folks who have ruined a generation of kids would not agree, you must praise
everything. That is pure bunk. We know from research and from results in
front of our eyes everyday that false praise has the opposite effect; it makes the
praise meaningless and ineffective, possible even lowering self-esteem. Praise those
efforts and actions that exceed expectations, not those that just meet
expectations. If I see one more bumper sticker proclaiming their kid an honor
student I am going scream. Everyone can’t be an honor student, everyone can’t
earn a varsity letter, there has to be a high standard to warrant an honor
(praise). Lets raise the bar, not lower it. The level of expectation definitely will
determine the level of achievement. Praising average work as great trivializes
great. From a coaches perspective it seriously erodes your credibility and soon
will render you ineffective. Be a John Wooden, select and measure your words
carefully, instruct and teach, praise the extraordinary not the average. Hold yourself and those you teach and coach to a higher standard.